talk about a bad temper...

CANBERRA (Reuters) - A cantankerous crocodile chased a man removing a storm-felled tree from its pen before stealing his chainsaw, shattering a few teeth in the process.

The aptly named Brutus, a 15-foot saltwater crocodile kept as an attraction at the Corroboree Park Tavern in Australia's Northern Territory, took offence at the noise of the chainsaw as the man cut the fallen tree, tavern co-owner Linda Francis told Reuters.

"Freddy had climbed out on to the tree and was removing a limb when the crocodile just erupted from his pool about 20m (60 ft) away and used the tree to launch himself up at Fred and the chainsaw," Francis said Friday.

"Fred virtually gave him the chainsaw, shoved it at him. It was still going and he took the chainsaw onto the ground and proceeded to smash it and it stalled. The crocodile didn't cut himself, just broke a few teeth."



Brutus then took the chainsaw into his pond and played with it for about an hour, destroying it, before losing interest.
(ARTICLE)

Road Kill

"CAPE CANAVERAL, Florida (Reuters) - NASA is trying to rid the Kennedy Space Center of vultures after the shuttle struck one of the large birds during lift-off last year on the first flight after the Columbia disaster.
The space center has set up what it calls a "road kill posse" to quickly clear as many carcasses as possible from the 6,000-acre site, in hopes of encouraging the vulture population to relocate by cutting off its food supply.
...
The agency is preparing to resume shuttle launches this summer from the space center, which lies within a wildlife preserve.
Its roads are dotted with the bodies of possums, raccoons, feral pigs, squirrels, birds and other animals fallen victim to traffic. The center is asking anyone who sees dead animals to call a "roadkill" hotline to report the location."
(article)

Rick used to work with a man who grew up in Missouri living with his grandmother. She would go to town in her old pick up truck every morning, and all the road kill that she found on the way in to town and on the way home would go into the back of the pick up and end up on the dinner table that evening.

There may be volunteers to do that roadkill pick up for free....LOL

Interesting anniversary

Today, in 1900, Walter Lantz, American cartoonist, creator of Woody Woodpecker was born in New Rochelle, New York.
"An office boy on the New York American (1914), he studied cartooning by correspondence course, then started with William Randolph Hearst's animation studio in 1916. He rose to be writer/director/‘star’ of his own Dinky Doodle cartoons, then went to Hollywood, where he took over Oswald the Lucky Rabbit (1928), and remained with Universal Pictures for over 50 years. Of the many characters he created, the most popular is Woody Woodpecker, whose characteristic laugh was supplied by his wife, actress Grace Stafford." (reference.com)

There may be lots of more important things to celebrate or honor today, but this one just made me smile...

Roots, paths, and imagination

Looking back, I seem to always be the person that gets left behind as friends and loved ones move on in their lives. I can’t help but wonder why ‘moving on’ in my life seems to be always done from one place, and I am always left saying goodbye.

I am sure that this has given me a more empathic nature. It is easier to sympathize with another’s suffering if you have been through suffering yourself. It might have helped my writing, I am not sure since I haven’t written a piece of fiction in months, but I think it probably has. That pain in me is still too tender to touch, too delicate to bring out into the sun and bare it for dissection, but I am sure that the heartbreak I went through last fall will eventually make a good point to write from.

My imagination might be stronger, I think that it is like a muscle, the more you use it, the stronger it becomes. I am very good at imagining. I can picture in my head, the sights, sounds, smells and textures of a five-star hotel, or the rocks and flowers on a mountain trail. I may never be there in real life, but I have been in my dreams.
When I dream at night, and I almost always do, my dreams are like movies. The sights, sounds and smells are so real; it is like being there. Most of my dreams don’t seem to include me, or I am not myself in them. Half the time there is no one in the dream that I know, it is like I am living someone else’s life. Does that mean I don’t like my own life? Or does it simply mean my imagination is working overtime?

I may be more stable, with solid roots. Or maybe I am just root bound? I suppose you can have roots and still spend half your life in other places, but I think strong roots are not ones that are stretched thin, undernourished, and infrequently watered. Or maybe stretching them makes them stronger?
One thing I have figured out, is that nourishing your roots takes contact with other people, caring about others, taking the time to get to know other people, if only for a few moments in the grocery checkout line. I used to love working at the store, and stopping to hear a story from a traveler, a person I would probably never see again, but I got glimpses into their lives that were very important for them to tell, and important for me to hear.
Nourishing your roots also takes a connection with something bigger than yourself. Mind, Body and Spirit are three equal parts of any content human. No matter how some may try to fight it, we are spiritual beings, and no matter what spiritual path you choose, you can’t deny that side of you all together. There will always be something missing.

I know that the road of life has many turns and twists, and you can never really see too far in advance, but I really don’t see myself living anywhere else. The traveling I dreamed of in high school was nixed when I said ‘I do’ at 18. Getting married sent me down a different path. I just have to find the good things on this path, and not worry about the “could have beens”.
Right now, I am missing the contact with other people that I had when I was working. Some day I hope to get back to that.
That was the thing I loved the most about working in a convenience store. Hearing those stories. From the surprised look on a veteran’s face when I thanked him for his service, to the grateful look on the young single mother’s face when I, a complete stranger, pitched in for her gas so she could make it home. The shook-up New York City couple that pulled in after having just hit a deer on the highway… The truck drivers who like to have a connection, someone who knows them, out on the road. One of these days, if it is meant to be, I am sure I will get back to that place.
Maybe my purpose wasn’t to travel, but to be a comfort to those who do travel. Guess I won’t really know the answer until it’s all over, will I?

My name...

I decided to amuse myself by trying out some name generators to find a new name. This is what I found:

My jedi name is:HOHAN ELHIC of the planet xanax!

My Hobbit name is:
Rosie-Posie Sandybanks of Frogmorton

My pirate name is:
Iron Prudentilla Flint

My Elf name is:
Lúthien Telemnar

My vampire name and history:
The Great Archives determine you to have gone by the identity:
Mary Brown
Known in some parts of the world as:
Devil of The Flesh
The Great Archives Record:
A sensual one who knows the flesh - and knows the blood.

(Strange coincidence that they should name me as a "Brown")


Your fairy name is Gossamer Moonfrost.
She is the moon goddess's messenger.
She lives in spiderwebbed wonderlands and insect grottos.
She is only seen during the first snow of winter.
She wears tiny black spiders on her dresses. She has beautiful blue butterfly wings.


My Goth name is Violent Beauty.

My porn name is Kara Quickie.

My reggae name is Queen Rose

My nerd name is Abigail, the Logo Wannabe.

Well, I don't know...
There is an email that I have had for about 5 or 6 years, that I use for my regular stuff, it is spiritseeker67@yahoo.com. Maybe spiritseeker fits me?

Fish Bait

(Jason, I think you might get a real kick out of this one...LOL)

My friends Rhonda and Allan have a beautiful fishpond in their back yard, complete with a waterfall. With the help of Allan’s mom, who is a fabulous gardener, they built it themselves, with large beautiful flat rocks that they hauled home from weekend trips to Oklahoma (Rhonda spent a lot of time living in southeast Oklahoma). They started out with about 70 fish in the 6’x12’ pond. Those fish multiplied, and other friends that were filling in their ponds gave them their fish, and now they have approximately 200 fish of all sizes in the pond.

Gold fish make really good fish bait. Rhonda, who has 9 or 10 siblings, has lots of family. The other night I was over there, we were sitting out in the backyard, and some of her nephews, the oldest in his mid 20s, the youngest about 17 or so, came over to get some of the small goldfish out of her pond for her, to thin them out, and use them for bait.

Now, this is a relatively small pond, just a few plants, nowhere for that many fish to hide. I had seen them swimming, everywhere, just packed into that little pond, before the boys came.
Those guys had such a hard time finding any fish! They finally rolled up their jeans, took off their cowboy boots, and waded around in the murky, ice-cold thigh deep water with large nets, trying to catch fish. They caught only about a dozen or so.

I mentioned to Rhonda, as we sat, barefoot, in our plastic lawn chairs drinking beer (her’s being a red beer) and watching the boys, that this was more entertaining than sitting at home watching cable TV.

She looked at me and said, “You might be a redneck if…”

National Poetry Month

Did you know that April was national poetry month? I hadn’t heard that anywhere…

I used to write poetry constantly. I won an award at the junior college that I took some classes at, Poet of the Year. Whoo-hoo… LOL

I don’t write anymore. I haven’t in years.

I learned a few interesting facts on women and poetry.

Did you know:
· the earliest writer in the world to be known by name was a woman poet: Enheduanna, Priestess of Inanna.
· the first published poet in America was a woman: Anne Bradstreet.

I am sorry to say I had never heard of either of them.
I have shared some of my favorites poems before, and my favorite poets change often. I love Oriah Mountain Dreamer, and Maya Angelou always, though. I have posted "The Invitation", by Oriah Mountain Dreamer here before. Here is another of my favorites of her's:

Night Tears

There is a crying
that happens at night
that does not come
while the light is with us.
There are things that cannot
be evaded
once the sun goes down.
Small nocturnal creatures
with sharp white teeth
silently gnaw at the edges of
belly and heart
when the darkness descends
and the void inside
grows larger.

It can split you open.

And the bone
in the centre of your chest
aches
like the cracked wishing bone
from the turkey breast.

And if we are strong enough
to be weak enough
we are given a wound
that never heals.
It is the gift
that keeps the heart open.


Oriah Mountain Dreamer © 1995

Sojourner Truth

I am reading a book right now that is interesting. It is "Wicca's Charm", by Catherine Edwards Sanders, a Christian perspective on why Wicca and neo-pagan religions are so popular, and she does a really good job at explaining it, without accusing people of being Satan worshipers. Among all the good stuff she is writing, I found this and thought it was great:
“A biographer of Sojourner Truth states that in 1851 she attended a women’s-rights convention in Akron, Ohio. She sat at the back and listened to several men make the case against women’s rights. One man quoted a newspaper article that suggested “a woman’s place is at home taking care of children.”
This comment surprised Sojourner because no one had ever given her the opportunity to stay at home and take care of her children.
Her biographer wrote: “All morning she’d listened to preachers – men who ought to know better – use the bible to support their own dead-end purposes. She was furious and ready to do battle using God’s own truth.”
After a while Sojourner spoke.
“That man over there… he says women need to be helped into carriages and lifted over ditches and to have the best everywhere. Nobody ever helps me into carriages, over mud puddles, or gets me to any best places… And ain’t I a woman?”
She continued as she turned to the men, “Look at me!” She bared her right arm and raised it in the air. The audience gasped as one voice. Her dark arm was muscular, made strong by hard work. “I have ploughed, and I have planted… And I have gathered into barns. And no man could head me… And ain’t I a woman?
I have borne thirteen children and seen them sold into slavery, and when I cried out in a mother’s grief, none heard me but Jesus. And ain’t I a woman?…
“You say Jesus was a man so that means God favors men over women. Where did your Christ come from?… Man had nothing to do with him.”

I am sure most of you might have heard that story before, we just didn't learn much about black history or women's rights here in Hick County when I was growing up. I found a good link of other Sojourner Truth information HERE.

Useless information

April 21
On this day in 1940, the quiz show “Take it or leave it” premiered on radio; this was the show that asked the “$64.00 Question.” I think the $64 question today would be “How much does ¾ tank of gas cost?”

Also on this day in:
1816 - Charlotte Brontë was born.
1838 - John Muir was born.

1918 - the Baron von Richthofen, aka The Red Baron, (above) was shot down.

And, in 1782, Friedrich Froebel, the founder of kindergarten, was born. All we ever needed to know we owe to him!

Oh, and yesterday was the 21st anniversary of my marriage to Rick. Guess you have to subtract the 5 years we were separated?

Wish me luck!

Not long after my last breakup, I had a post about cutting my hair when ever I break up with someone, or a man breaks my heart... I had 4 or 5 inches cut off then.
Last week I had another 4 or 5 inches cut off. It still doesn't feel right. I have an appointment tomorrow to have the rest of it cut off. Short. As of last November, it was about waist length. As of tomorrow, it will look something like this:



I haven't had it this short since Hawk and I "officially" broke up the first time, which was about... 2002? My hair grows so fast, if I want it long again it won't take long...
My long hair has always been the one feature that everyone commented on, especially men... I think maybe one reason for cutting it off is to stop that attention... I am done with judging my worth by what others (especially men) think about me...
Maybe, too, the one way to "fit in" in Hick County is to look the part... Plus, 110° weather and long thick hair don't mix well... I have just been too stubborn to cut it for the last few years... Don't think this is an easy decision, though, I am nervous as hell... I think I have a "masculine" face, and feel a bit "butch" when my hair is short, but I will just have to get over that...

Today's laugh....

I found this in a book I have been reading; it made me laugh out loud. It is a story about a man’s response to his insurance company when asked to fill out a form explaining his injuries:

“I am writing in response to your request concerning Block No. 1 on the insurance form which asked for the cause of injuries, wherein I put “Trying to do the job alone”. You said you needed more information, so I trust that the following will be sufficient.
I am a bricklayer by trade, and on the day of injuries, I was working alone, laying brick around the top of a four-story building, when I realized that I had about five hundred pounds of brick left over. Rather than carry the bricks down by hand, I decided to put them in a barrel and lower them by pulley, which was fastened to the top of the building, I secured the end of the rope at ground level and went up to the top of the building and loaded the bricks into the barrel and flung the barrel out with the bricks in it. Then I went down and untied the rope, holding it securely to insecure the slow descent of the barrel.
As you will note on Block no. 6 of the insurance form, I weigh 150 pounds. Due to the shock of being jerked off the ground so swiftly, I lost my presence of mind and forgot to let go of the rope. Between the second and third floors, I met the barrel coming down. This accounts for the bruises and lacerations on my upper body. Regaining my presence of mind again, I held tightly to the rope and proceeded rapidly up the side of the building, not stopping until my right hand was jammed into the pulley. This accounts for my broken thumb.
Despite the pain, I retained my presence of mind and held tightly to the rope. At approximately the same time, however, the barrel of bricks hit the ground and the bottom fell out of the barrel. Devoid of the weight of the bricks, the barrel now weighed about fifty pounds. I refer you again to block no. 6 and my weight. As you would guess, I began a rapid descent. In the vicinity of the second floor, I met the barrel coming up. This explains the injuries to my legs and lower body, Slowed only slightly, I continued my descent, landing on the pile of bricks. Fortunately, my back was only sprained and the internal injuries were minimal. I’m sorry to report, however, that at this point I again lost my presence of mind and let go of the rope. As you can imagine, the empty barrel crashed down on me.
I trust this answers your concern. Please know that I am finished with trying to do the job alone.”

I found this in the book “Stick a Geranium in Your Hat and be Happy” by Barbara Johnson.

Somewhat interesting information

(Disclaimer: The following news article does not necessarily reflect the political views of the owner of this blog. It does not necessarily NOT reflect the views of the owner of this blog, either.)

The U.S. Department of Agriculture (USDA) is embarking upon a new program that seeks to have every single livestock animal in the United States identified, tagged and possibly implanted with a radio chip. The highly controversial National Animal Identification System (NAIS) would require anyone who owns even one livestock animal — such as a pigeon, rabbit, chicken or horse — to register that animal and its location in a federal database.

The USDA maintains that the program could help track and contain disease outbreaks. But livestock owners criticize the USDA’s intentions, claiming that this is just another federally supported benefit for large-scale "factory farm" producers, whose animals are the most at risk for disease outbreaks. In addition, the NAIS will place a financial burden on small-scale livestock owners, and invade individual privacy, to boot. Currently, enrollment in NAIS is voluntary, but the program is scheduled to become mandatory by 2009.

(see article HERE)

View the details of the USDA’s implementation plan.

Read legal comments about NAIS.

Got cheese?

This looks so much like my mom's rat... um, dog....

Blah, Blah, Blah

A lot of random thoughts are going on in my head today.

Thursday was 95°. Medicine Lodge got up to 100°. I remember years when we still got 10-12" snows in May... And I guess we still might.

The wind is blowing so much today it blew the cable out. Not a big deal, not much TV watching on weekends around here anyway, other than my mother. There is a cool front coming in on this wind today.

The lilacs are in full bloom. I can't remember the last time they were in bloom for Easter. Not since I was a kid, I don’t think. I have a big armful of them that Rick brought me here in a huge vase on the computer desk ... You can smell them as soon as you walk into the room.

The sand hill plum bushes in the fields are blooming, too. I hope there isn't another freeze... We haven't had plums for several years. I miss making the sand hill plum jelly; it's my absolute favorite. I love driving out into the sand hills and picking plums, fighting off bugs, the thorns on the bushes and occasionally running into snakes... I remember the time Rick accidentally stepped on a snake he didn't see... You should have seen how fast he tore out of those bushes!

The Passion of the Christ is on Showtime tonight. I don’t know whether we will watch it or not. I haven’t seen it. I went once with my best friend to the Passion play at Eureka Springs Arkansas, and we both ended up getting very emotional. I am sure the movie will be even more emotional, as real as they say it is…

Am I rambling? I suppose I am. It has been a long, boring day. I have just been piddling around the house… Organizing a drawer here, or a box of stuff there… Put the crocheted afghans out on the clothes line to air out. They are very huge and too big for the washer or dryer. Guess I can go start dinner now, and then there will be dishes and helping Isaiah get to bed…

When you have no friends except the people you live with, and your 7 year old is in no extracurricular activities, and you don’t work, it’s like time stands still for you… The world around is rushing around, and doing things, and stretching themselves too thin, and here I am, looking for things to do.

Too many questions, not enough answers....

I am beginning to think that being a work-a-holic and staying so busy was just a ploy to keep me from thinking. Now, I think too much.

I was flipping through the channels the other morning, and I came across a certain Christian show that I used to watch all the time. I started listening, and she was teaching on verses that I knew by heart, and suddenly I got this very comfortable feeling… Like returning to a place that you once knew well, but hadn’t been to in a long time… That feeling sort of startled me. Is my subconscious mind missing that?

I was looking through a clothing catalog this morning, and started to think, “I like that…” and “I love those shoes!” when I realized my taste is changing. The clothes I was attracted to were more conservative, dressier, more “pulled together” looking… A feeling of fear passed through my mind… Was I turning into one of those people I had spent my whole life trying to be the exact opposite of??

How can someone just change like that? Does that mean that who I have been up to this point has been a lie? Have I been trying to be someone I am not? What is this change attributed to? Maybe I have just lived in Hick County too long… Am I surrendering my individuality? Or have I been compromising my real self for the last few years just to keep those people with their hurtful attitudes away from me? Has my resentment over being treated like a second-class citizen colored my view of who I really am and what I believe?

I don’t think I have ever written a whole paragraph that was nothing but questions.

Maybe it’s a pride thing. Can a person have too much pride and have no self-esteem at the same time?

I have always told Rick that when you have a job, to get ahead in that job, you have to play by your employer’s rules… Play along to get along… Maybe I have been fighting too much to be different… maybe if I played along a bit better I would be happier, not having to fight for everything all the time…

Whoa. I am thinking myself into a headache. Pretty pathetic to be almost 40 and not have a clue who you really are, don’t you think??

This next part was added just today, days after I wrote the previous sentences. I have been reading a book called “Soul Hunger”, by Sandy Richardson, a Christian perspective about her struggles with Bulimia. I am not Bulimic, I can’t make myself throw up even when I’m sick, but I do have a binge-eating problem. Damn. I have never admitted that outside of my own head, that was harder than it looks on the page. Anyway, I have came across several passages in this book that hit so close to home, but this one really jumped out at me:

“People had hurt me, and I was beginning to recognize the people and the events. But how had I responded to the pain? As a child, I felt that there was no one to protect me, so I protected myself by judging the ones who hurt me. I would avoid anything that made me appear to be like them.”

That hit me like a ton of bricks! Have I been avoiding all the things in me that were like everyone else? Is the fact that I ignore the things in me that were anything similar to “them” the reason I don’t really know who I am? Does that sound too obvious?

You would not believe how nervous it makes me to actually hit that button that says “Publish Post” on this one….

Just another day...

My Horoscope for today:

"You can like the life you're living, or you can live the life you'd like. The stars strongly urge that you learn to balance between the two. Choose goals and work toward them."

Jules, are you sure you haven't been writing my horoscopes?? LOL. It sounds like the stars like your advice...

It’s another windy day in Kansas. Steady at about 32 mph, gusts over 40. At least I don't have to worry about having a fancy hair-do... no kind of style would survive the Kansas wind!
Yesterday Rick had to get up on the roof and put some shingles back on that had blown off in Friday's wind.
Isaiah has a music program at school this evening. He actually wanted to wear a tie (I know!!) but driving 60 miles round trip to buy him a tie just wasn't a good idea financially. What kind of kid actually wants to wear a tie?? The same kind of kid that doesn't like soda, or candy, would rather eat fruit... Always drinks bottled water... When the teacher did an art project and asked the kids what they would do if they could do anything, my son put down that he would "clean up all the world's messes." He is a total neat freak...LOL
This music program wouldn't be bad if it was just his class, but it's k-4, and will last too long! Oh well...
Rick got a call from a trucking company... He has always wanted to drive a truck... They said that he would be on his way to their training center if he hadn't got that DUI last fall. (The one where he killed my car) I honestly don't want to go back to work and try to support the whole family on minimum wage again... I have done that so many times in our almost 21 year marriage... *sigh*

Miscellaneous

Those of you, who read my old blog, know that Amethyst Rising used to be Amethyst Hawke, when I was more or less “with” Hawk. Then, when I started seeing “sir”, it was changed to Amethyst Rising. Now that he is out of my life too, I think I should change it to my own version. Good idea?
I think the version that fits me the most right now is Amethyst Ice. Amethyst Ashes maybe? I think the “Rising” is way too optimistic. (I sort of like the Amethyst Ice one)
Yes, I am working on going back to school, and things are working well on the outside. On the inside, though, I feel totally dead. I am just going through the motions. I feel like a robot with no emotions. You know how if you get burnt bad enough you don’t feel it because it destroys all of your nerves? I think I am to that point. I just don’t feel anything anymore. Trusting people who just like messing with my head sort of put me here, I think. At least I know that Rick isn’t messing with my head, and he would never hurt me, so I am safe… And maybe that is what it takes to get my emotions back… time in a safe environment to heal. I feel like maybe I am on a path to recovery, it just takes longer than I anticipated. I hope so, because never trusting anyone ever again sounds like a very sad place to live.

Anyone with comments on the name change?

Anyway…

I have more stuff to fill out for the financial aid. I filled out a FAFSA for 2006-2007, and come to find out the summer semester is still considered part of the 2005-2006 school year, so now I have to go back and fill one out for that year…LOL. At least that one is taken care of for next year!
I got a letter from a bank, seems they are going to send me a check for the amount (minus 30% taxes) that was in a retirement fund in my name through my last employer. I don’t have an IRA for them to transfer it, and it isn’t much money, but it is going to be just about exactly what I need to pay for my first semester. How cool is that? Makes it feel like maybe I am on the right track now.
Rick had a job interview today, and it sounds like they are going to hire him. It pays well enough that I don’t need to work, not full time anyway, so that’s a good thing. He will probably be working 70-80 hours a week and be on call 24/7, though. That’s ok, we need the money, and Rick is as much of a work-a-holic as I am if he likes his job. I can just concentrate on Isaiah, my classes, and working on our house now. I can hang sheet rock, no problem, so even when he is working I can work on the house. We just have to get the money saved up to have the wiring redone so that we can move back into it! I don’t know if I told you, but we have a friend that is an electrician, and he checked it out for us, said that if it was his family he wouldn’t live in the house until the wiring was fixed (we have already had one light fixture burst into flames in that house!). I have known him since I was about 14 or 15, and I trust his word, so we won’t move in until we can get most of that done. I think mom likes Rick being here to work on things around her house, anyway.

Went out of town today,(for Rick’s interview) and coming back the wind was blowing so much you couldn’t see much past the front of your vehicle in spots because of the blowing dust. Looked like the “dirty 30s” all over again… Lots of tornadoes and thunderstorms today, too… Seems that we aren’t in line for those, though, which is probably a good thing although it would be nice to get some more rain.

Since we aren’t moving back into the house for a while, guess I will have to postpone my garden plans until next year… I am, however, looking for some large planters for growing herbs – I have to at least grown sage, rosemary, and basil… I’d like some tomatoes, too… We’ll just have to see how things work out…

I have bored you long enough, so I will go find something else to do now!

World Capital of Peace - Kansas' newest attraction

SMITH CENTER, Kan. - Followers of Maharishi Mahesh Yogi, known for founding the transcendental meditation movement, recently broke ground on a complex they are calling the World Capital of Peace.
The $14 million project will sit on 480 acres of land in north-central Kansas, near the Nebraska border and close to the geographical center of the continental United States.
"I really felt good about it," said Smith Center Mayor Randy Archer, whose initial reservations about the Maharishi moving to the region were put to rest at the groundbreaking last week.
"I think they will blend and mesh with the community and the county. But any time a change comes in, usually it's scary."
The transcendental meditation movement began in India in the 1950s and is best-known for celebrity disciples that included the Beatles, comedian Andy Kaufman and actor and director Clint Eastwood.
The Maharishi-affiliated groups at work in Smith Center are nonprofit organizations known as the U.S. Peace Government and the Global Country of World Peace. Officials said they chose Smith Center because of its quiet, rural setting in middle America.
"It's not a closed community that won't let anybody else be a part of what we are doing," Kent Boyum, an ecologist and the director of government relations for the Global Country of World Peace, said of the Maharishi.
Boyum said the Smith Center complex will include 12 to 15 buildings, each about 12,000 square feet, with living quarters and meeting space. He said people living in the community will focus on practicing transcendental meditation and organic farming, but the site also will be open to tourists.
Smith Center is the centerpiece of a number of "Peace Palaces" the group intends to build across the Midwest, Boyum said. Two such single buildings are planned for Lawrence and the Kansas City area.
"The people who practice are all kinds of people - all shapes, all colors. Some have religion. Some don't," Boyum said. "It isn't an absolute way of life. Some people just add to their normal way of life and have less stress."
Like Archer, some people in the area had initial reservations about a new group of people moving to the area. They point to the lack of local water and wonder whether there will be enough to support such a massive increase in development.
But most trepidation is due to a number of misconceptions that accompany Maharishi.
"The rumors are it's a cult and they are going to make underground bunkers and build nuclear weapons," said Archer, who estimates about 95 percent of the population is on board for the project. "That's not what they are about."
While Boyum said the buildings for the World Capital of Peace will be built mostly in a factory, then erected on site, the economic windfall for a town with an aging population of about 1,800 is enticing.
"I feel very positive about it. The thought of people coming in and spending money is very positive," said Charles Sellens, an administrative assistant for the Smith County Commissioners. "They not only sound professional, they are professional."

(Link to article.)

Claustrophobic?

I have always thought that as I got older, I was getting claustrophobic.

“Clinically speaking, claustrophobic refers to an abnormal tendency to feel terror in closed spaces. But like other terms used to describe psychological conditions (narcissistic and schizophrenic, for example), claustrophobic has been applied more loosely in general usage over time. At first it referred to any kind of temporary feeling of being closed in or unable to escape (I felt claustrophobic in that tiny room).” (dictionary.com)

I don’t dislike small spaces. When I was young, I had a bookshelf headboard, with sliding doors on it. Between the head of the mattress, and the wall, under the bookshelf part of the headboard, was a space. I used to crawl under the bed, and I could sit up in the space. I had my favorite books in there, and I loved the protected feeling I had there. I also used to play in my closet (as long as the light bulb wasn’t burnt out!) There was a large row of bushes in the backyard of my house, and in the summer the leaves made the branches heavy enough that they bent over, making a hidden “cave” that we loved playing in, too.
I still get the urge sometimes to crawl into a small space and hide. I have developed a sort of “meditation” where I close my eyes and imagine myself in a gray box, and all the sounds I hear are coming from a speaker in the box, they are just piped in, and I am totally alone. It makes it very easy to detach myself from what is going on around me. I used to use it at work on really bad days when I got a few minutes to myself. (Usually outside sitting on the end of the sidewalk smoking a cigarette.)

What I really need to work on is the panicked feeling I get when I feel like I can’t move, or can’t get out of somewhere. That fear hits me in bad traffic. It hits me when I am at work, sometimes. It even hits me sometimes when someone is too close to my face for to long, like when Rick kisses me for a long time and doesn’t back off at all. I feel like I am being held down, or something. That is the part that really bothers me. It's suffocating. I don’t know anyone else like that… I have never heard of that at all…what kind of fruit loop feels like that? May be the reason that I was the only sub that I ever knew that never got into bondage…