Miscellaneous

Those of you, who read my old blog, know that Amethyst Rising used to be Amethyst Hawke, when I was more or less “with” Hawk. Then, when I started seeing “sir”, it was changed to Amethyst Rising. Now that he is out of my life too, I think I should change it to my own version. Good idea?
I think the version that fits me the most right now is Amethyst Ice. Amethyst Ashes maybe? I think the “Rising” is way too optimistic. (I sort of like the Amethyst Ice one)
Yes, I am working on going back to school, and things are working well on the outside. On the inside, though, I feel totally dead. I am just going through the motions. I feel like a robot with no emotions. You know how if you get burnt bad enough you don’t feel it because it destroys all of your nerves? I think I am to that point. I just don’t feel anything anymore. Trusting people who just like messing with my head sort of put me here, I think. At least I know that Rick isn’t messing with my head, and he would never hurt me, so I am safe… And maybe that is what it takes to get my emotions back… time in a safe environment to heal. I feel like maybe I am on a path to recovery, it just takes longer than I anticipated. I hope so, because never trusting anyone ever again sounds like a very sad place to live.

Anyone with comments on the name change?

Anyway…

I have more stuff to fill out for the financial aid. I filled out a FAFSA for 2006-2007, and come to find out the summer semester is still considered part of the 2005-2006 school year, so now I have to go back and fill one out for that year…LOL. At least that one is taken care of for next year!
I got a letter from a bank, seems they are going to send me a check for the amount (minus 30% taxes) that was in a retirement fund in my name through my last employer. I don’t have an IRA for them to transfer it, and it isn’t much money, but it is going to be just about exactly what I need to pay for my first semester. How cool is that? Makes it feel like maybe I am on the right track now.
Rick had a job interview today, and it sounds like they are going to hire him. It pays well enough that I don’t need to work, not full time anyway, so that’s a good thing. He will probably be working 70-80 hours a week and be on call 24/7, though. That’s ok, we need the money, and Rick is as much of a work-a-holic as I am if he likes his job. I can just concentrate on Isaiah, my classes, and working on our house now. I can hang sheet rock, no problem, so even when he is working I can work on the house. We just have to get the money saved up to have the wiring redone so that we can move back into it! I don’t know if I told you, but we have a friend that is an electrician, and he checked it out for us, said that if it was his family he wouldn’t live in the house until the wiring was fixed (we have already had one light fixture burst into flames in that house!). I have known him since I was about 14 or 15, and I trust his word, so we won’t move in until we can get most of that done. I think mom likes Rick being here to work on things around her house, anyway.

Went out of town today,(for Rick’s interview) and coming back the wind was blowing so much you couldn’t see much past the front of your vehicle in spots because of the blowing dust. Looked like the “dirty 30s” all over again… Lots of tornadoes and thunderstorms today, too… Seems that we aren’t in line for those, though, which is probably a good thing although it would be nice to get some more rain.

Since we aren’t moving back into the house for a while, guess I will have to postpone my garden plans until next year… I am, however, looking for some large planters for growing herbs – I have to at least grown sage, rosemary, and basil… I’d like some tomatoes, too… We’ll just have to see how things work out…

I have bored you long enough, so I will go find something else to do now!