Who are you?
I have some more insightful ideas from “Happy Yoga”, by Steve Ross.
“If you ask the average person who they are, you’ll get the usual responses: “I am a mother.” “I am a CEO.” “I am a security guard.” “I am a grandfather.” If you ask how they are you’ll get the everyday, “I am good.” “I am happy.” “I am sad.” “I am depressed.” “I am ecstatic.” All of the words that follow the phrases “I am” are identifications. And on one level, they’re all true, but these identifications can be extremely limiting. If you think that’s all you are, you’re tying yourself to a very limited identity – one that leads to intensified duality (i.e. suffering). If you strongly identify with being a high-powered executive, you may have great success in that field. You may also be miserable in every other area of your life. That’s intensified duality.
Buying a sweater that you’ve seen seemingly happy people wear might lead you to believe that when you wear it, you’ll be happy. That’s trying to buy a wear an identity. In truth, all you get is the sweater. Expecting happiness from an identity you’ve purchased is delusional. The same is true when you think the role of mother, father, president, or millionaire will make you totally happy. In and of itself, an identification won’t make you happy. That’s not to say that being a factory worker, a father, a doctor, or a dog walker is bad. It’s to say that this is not all you are. Essentially, identities are what differentiate you from other people, but they also reinforce the ego’s conviction that you are separate from God. You’re not.
Yoga seeks to discover that which has no beginning and no end. What is lasting? What is permanent? What is the essence of being? If your primary identity is that of being a mother, you may have a happy life as long as that lasts. Your clothes, home, lifestyle, friends, car, and activities may revolve around and support this identity. This identity defines you, helps you make life decisions, and delineates where you end and where someone else begins. It is your own personal boundary. You may find some fulfillment in this identity, but what happens when the children grow up, leave the house, and don’t want you to hover around their comings and goings anymore? An identity crisis is what happens. If being a mother can no longer be your primary identity, what are you? Who are you now?
Deriving your identity from anything is this world and expecting it to bring you fulfillment will inevitably bring disappointment.”
I read through this a few times, and wondered what could I say if someone asked me “Who are you?”
I used to identify with my job. All the time I was employed, I had a hard time being an employee at work and a mom at home… I was 100% of what I was doing, and I couldn’t seem to be more than one thing… As long as I was employed I was a workaholic, my job came first. If I started feeling guilty about not being a “good mom”, I felt like I wanted to quit my job… Like I couldn’t do both.
Now I am unemployed, so I can’t identify with that. I am still a mom, but what happens when Isaiah grows up?
“I am an artist.”
“I am an animal lover.”
“I am an avid reader.”
“I am a self taught student of various Earth religions.”
How can you answer the question “Who are you?” without these labels?
“I am a carbon based life form.”
Without the labels, what differentiates me from any other human on the planet?
How do I answer that question without labels?
"Who are you?"
“If you ask the average person who they are, you’ll get the usual responses: “I am a mother.” “I am a CEO.” “I am a security guard.” “I am a grandfather.” If you ask how they are you’ll get the everyday, “I am good.” “I am happy.” “I am sad.” “I am depressed.” “I am ecstatic.” All of the words that follow the phrases “I am” are identifications. And on one level, they’re all true, but these identifications can be extremely limiting. If you think that’s all you are, you’re tying yourself to a very limited identity – one that leads to intensified duality (i.e. suffering). If you strongly identify with being a high-powered executive, you may have great success in that field. You may also be miserable in every other area of your life. That’s intensified duality.
Buying a sweater that you’ve seen seemingly happy people wear might lead you to believe that when you wear it, you’ll be happy. That’s trying to buy a wear an identity. In truth, all you get is the sweater. Expecting happiness from an identity you’ve purchased is delusional. The same is true when you think the role of mother, father, president, or millionaire will make you totally happy. In and of itself, an identification won’t make you happy. That’s not to say that being a factory worker, a father, a doctor, or a dog walker is bad. It’s to say that this is not all you are. Essentially, identities are what differentiate you from other people, but they also reinforce the ego’s conviction that you are separate from God. You’re not.
Yoga seeks to discover that which has no beginning and no end. What is lasting? What is permanent? What is the essence of being? If your primary identity is that of being a mother, you may have a happy life as long as that lasts. Your clothes, home, lifestyle, friends, car, and activities may revolve around and support this identity. This identity defines you, helps you make life decisions, and delineates where you end and where someone else begins. It is your own personal boundary. You may find some fulfillment in this identity, but what happens when the children grow up, leave the house, and don’t want you to hover around their comings and goings anymore? An identity crisis is what happens. If being a mother can no longer be your primary identity, what are you? Who are you now?
Deriving your identity from anything is this world and expecting it to bring you fulfillment will inevitably bring disappointment.”
I read through this a few times, and wondered what could I say if someone asked me “Who are you?”
I used to identify with my job. All the time I was employed, I had a hard time being an employee at work and a mom at home… I was 100% of what I was doing, and I couldn’t seem to be more than one thing… As long as I was employed I was a workaholic, my job came first. If I started feeling guilty about not being a “good mom”, I felt like I wanted to quit my job… Like I couldn’t do both.
Now I am unemployed, so I can’t identify with that. I am still a mom, but what happens when Isaiah grows up?
“I am an artist.”
“I am an animal lover.”
“I am an avid reader.”
“I am a self taught student of various Earth religions.”
How can you answer the question “Who are you?” without these labels?
“I am a carbon based life form.”
Without the labels, what differentiates me from any other human on the planet?
How do I answer that question without labels?
"Who are you?"
posted by Amethyst Rising at 9:53 AM
4 Comments:
Great post, I love this topic (obviously, I'm obsessed with the concepts of happiness and identity.) When people ask me what I "do" I always ask back, "what, for money, or what I like to do on my off time?" I agree that what we do for money (the time and life energy we exchange for money) doesn't begin to define us. So many people are stuck in their roles, then lost when the role is no longer there. Who are you? You are a manifestation of All That Is, a human Being, whose life is unfolding in wonderment. (That should shut them up, LOL!)
Wouldn't be great to be one of those people that what they do for money is what they would do for free for the fun of it??
I have lost many people on this blog that I considered friends... Change is the one thing I am being taught to "roll with" right now in my life... Not labeling myself is one thing that will help me stay steady in the face of change, I think...
Its hard to know who I am. I am multi-faceted Jewel. When you look at me some of the facets are not in sight as some of the facets are always hidden. No one or a least very few want to really know all the facets (and I am not sure I want them to know) so we get in the habit of describing ourselves in terms that will satisfy others without revealing too much of ourselves. In addition, we often turn a blind eye to some of our own facets so we do not even know ourselves. There is an old saying, "To thine ownself be true." And I would be if I knew who I was.
"To thine ownself be true." is one of my favorites... I have often thought that quote would be my next tattoo, around my ankle or something...
I think I wake up everyday as a new "me"... It seems to vary daily...
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