Community Services
Found this on one of the Pagan Forums that I read...
Thought it was pretty funny...
Sorry, Guys, don't mean to offend you, but the Ladies will agree that most men could use a few of these classes!
Classes for men at the local learning center for adults. Registration must be completed by January 15th.
Note: due to the complexity and difficulty level of their contents, class size will be limited to 8 participants maximum.
Class 1: How to Fill Up the Ice Cube Trays. Step-by-step, with Slide Presentation. Meets 4 weeks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 p.m.
Class 2: The Toilet Paper Roll. Does it Change Itself? Round Table Discussion. Meets 2 weeks, Saturday at 12:00 for 2 hours.
Class 3: Is It Possible to Urinate Using the Technique of Lifting the Seat and Avoiding the Floor/Walls and Nearby Bathtub? Group Practice. Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 PM for 2 hours. (Note: this class meets at Irish’s Brew Pub on 16th Street)
Class 4: Fundamental Differences Between the Laundry Hamper and the Floor. Pictures and Explanatory Graphics. Meetings are Saturdays at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks.
Class 5: After Dinner Dishes. Can They Levitate and Fly Into the Kitchen Sink? Video. Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM
Class 6: Learning How to Find Things - Starting with looking in the right places instead of turning the house upside down while screaming. Open Forum. Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours
Class 7: Health Watch — Bringing her flowers is not harmful to your health. Graphics and Audio Tapes Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.
Class 8: Real Men ask for Directions When Lost. Real Life Testimonials. Tuesdays at 6:00 PM, location to be determined.
Class 9: Is it genetically impossible to sit quietly while she parallel parks? Driving Simulations. 4 weeks, Saturday’s noon, 2 hours.
Class 10: Learning to Live — Basic Differences Between Mother and Wife. Online Classes and role-playing
Class 11: How to be the Ideal Shopping Companion. Relaxation Exercises, Meditation and Breathing techniques. Proper techniques for holding her purse. Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM at the outlet mall food court.
Class 12: How to Fight Cerebral Atrophy — Remembering Birthdays, Anniversaries and Other Important Dates and Calling When You’re Going to be Late. (Sending Christmas cards will be offered in an advanced course this Fall.) Cerebral Shock Therapy Sessions and Full Lobotomies Offered. Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.
Class 13: The Stove/Oven — What it is and How it is Used. Live Demonstration. Tuesdays at 6:00 PM, location to be determined.
Thought it was pretty funny...
Sorry, Guys, don't mean to offend you, but the Ladies will agree that most men could use a few of these classes!
Classes for men at the local learning center for adults. Registration must be completed by January 15th.
Note: due to the complexity and difficulty level of their contents, class size will be limited to 8 participants maximum.
Class 1: How to Fill Up the Ice Cube Trays. Step-by-step, with Slide Presentation. Meets 4 weeks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 p.m.
Class 2: The Toilet Paper Roll. Does it Change Itself? Round Table Discussion. Meets 2 weeks, Saturday at 12:00 for 2 hours.
Class 3: Is It Possible to Urinate Using the Technique of Lifting the Seat and Avoiding the Floor/Walls and Nearby Bathtub? Group Practice. Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 PM for 2 hours. (Note: this class meets at Irish’s Brew Pub on 16th Street)
Class 4: Fundamental Differences Between the Laundry Hamper and the Floor. Pictures and Explanatory Graphics. Meetings are Saturdays at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks.
Class 5: After Dinner Dishes. Can They Levitate and Fly Into the Kitchen Sink? Video. Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM
Class 6: Learning How to Find Things - Starting with looking in the right places instead of turning the house upside down while screaming. Open Forum. Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours
Class 7: Health Watch — Bringing her flowers is not harmful to your health. Graphics and Audio Tapes Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.
Class 8: Real Men ask for Directions When Lost. Real Life Testimonials. Tuesdays at 6:00 PM, location to be determined.
Class 9: Is it genetically impossible to sit quietly while she parallel parks? Driving Simulations. 4 weeks, Saturday’s noon, 2 hours.
Class 10: Learning to Live — Basic Differences Between Mother and Wife. Online Classes and role-playing
Class 11: How to be the Ideal Shopping Companion. Relaxation Exercises, Meditation and Breathing techniques. Proper techniques for holding her purse. Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM at the outlet mall food court.
Class 12: How to Fight Cerebral Atrophy — Remembering Birthdays, Anniversaries and Other Important Dates and Calling When You’re Going to be Late. (Sending Christmas cards will be offered in an advanced course this Fall.) Cerebral Shock Therapy Sessions and Full Lobotomies Offered. Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.
Class 13: The Stove/Oven — What it is and How it is Used. Live Demonstration. Tuesdays at 6:00 PM, location to be determined.
posted by Amethyst Rising at 10:38 AM
2 Comments:
I know that all men aren't like this... but where in the hell are they??? sigh~~
I know of one who doesn't need any of these classes... That was almost too good to be true...
We just have to find to ones who need the fewest of these classes... Or need the ones that are least important to us...LOL
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