The nice woman whose nametag read "Wendy" lead me into the tiny windowless room. In the corner was a chair, with an ugly hospital gown folded neatly on the seat. A table sitting next to the chair had a pretty little basket with pink ribbon air fresheners for your car that read "The best prevention is early detection", a lamp that was the only light in the room, and a can of Suave deodorant, Powder Fresh scent.
Wendy instructed me to take off my shirt and bra, putting the gown on open in the front. I was wearing a Sturgis t-shirt... One that Sir had given me... To make it feel like a part of him was there with me. I had taken it right out of the dryer and put it on that morning.
Wendy left the room, and I began to get undressed. When I took off my shirt, it felt like something hit my foot. I looked down, and a sock had been stuck in my shirt and was now laying on the floor. I almost laughed out loud... But then I realized that I didn't even have my purse with me, so I had to stuff the sock in the pocket of my jeans...lol
I was almost embarrassed at how big my boob looked in that machine... And Wendy pulling on it with both hands to get more of me into there didn't help.... lol
I am really glad that's over.
The sonogram guy thought the lumps looked like swollen lymph nodes, but would look again and send a full report to my doctor. So I guess everything is fine...

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I am leaving in just a few minutes to go to the middle of nowhere to work for a couple of days. I REALLY don't want to go...
My ex and I have been talking... about living together again, so that I don't have to struggle with paying the bills, and I can quit the store where I work because I need to get off my feet... My back is in serious pain all the time, and the chiropractor says my lower back is getting compacted.. Said that if I could find a job where I wasn't on my feet all the time it would be much better... Jobs are scarce around here, but if R could pay the bills while I was looking for something new, that would be great...
I saw the rest of my life with Sir, and now that that isn't going to happen, I really don't want to try find anyone else. R knows how I feel about Sir, and that my heart will always belong to him... But R and I are best friends, and I could do a lot worse than that, right? R is getting ready to go back to work on a drilling rig, and will bring home in one week what I do in a month... It will be nice to quit this job I hate and take care of my son and home while looking for a part time job that will be easier on my back and my mind...
I hate working at a job where I have to watch my back constantly, and can't trust anyone... I actually get sick to my stomach just thinking about going to work these days, and I used to love it...
Well, I better get going... Talk to you all again on Friday...